Processing Grief and Bereavement Therapy Services
It’s hard to struggle with the swirling pain, sadness, anger, fear, and other emotions following a loss.
You find yourself thinking about it all the time, and the mixture of feelings can range from overwhelming to confusing. Other people keep telling you to ‘get over it’ or that it is ‘time to move on.’ You don’t feel ready, and it’s hard to bring it up because no one else seems as bothered. You find yourself alone on an island, with no way back to shore. Sometimes you may feel stuck, and other times you feel guilty for feeling relief along with everything else. Sometimes you fear the pain will stop because hurting is the only thing that keeps you connected to them.
Common Symptoms:
You may be feeling:
- Overwhelming sadness
- Anxiety or worry
- Anger and frustration (either at the situation or the people around you)
- Relief that they are no longer suffering
- Relief from burdens or relief from hurt they may have caused
- Guilt that you feel relief at all
- Guilt that you are still around and they are not
- Numb, apathetic, or 'flat'
- Confused and disbelief
- Disoriented, dissociated, or out of touch with reality
You may be thinking:
- "Why them?"
- "Why me?"
- "What could I have done differently?"
- "This is my fault"
- "I should have spent more time with them"
- "At least they aren't suffering any more"
- "What do I do now?"
- "How will I be able to keep going without them?"
- "I don't know how I can survive this"
You may notice yourself:
- Not enjoying time with others like you used to
- Having a hard time feeling joy or doing things you loved
- Crying more
- Pacing or having a hard time sitting still
- Avoiding your feelings by trying to 'keep busy'
- Spending time doing anything to distract yourself
- Sleeping more
- Having a hard time falling asleep or staying asleep
- Eating more or eating for comfort
- Having a lower appetite than normal or never feeling hungry
- Lashing out at others
- Isolating, leaving people 'on read,' or spending time alone
Grief often hits us whether we want it to or not, and sometimes the hardest part of healing is getting started.
In grief work, we acknowledge that while there is a beginning, there is rarely a solid end. Instead of trying to shrink the grief or ‘move on,’ we look to grow around it. We often know we have succeeded when happy memories don’t feel sad anymore, and we can feel connected to the loss while still living our lives.
